Success. It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot in boardrooms, LinkedIn posts, and even casual chats. But when you really stop and think about it, do you know what success means to you? Is it a big salary? A prestigious job title? Or is it something more personal, like having flexibility, making a difference or impact, or just having work life and family balance?
The reality is success is deeply personal to everyone. What drives one person might leave another completely isolated. And yet, many of us fall into the trap of chasing someone else’s definition of ticking boxes we never set for ourselves. We’re told that if we work hard, promotions will come. That loyalty will be rewarded. That “making it” looks a certain way. But in truth, career success isn’t a one-size-fits-all outcome, and waiting for it to land in your lap is a risky game.
For me ‘in life you create your own luck’ and if you’re lucky you may get success, if you’re not then you get a lesson learned!
I once had a team member who was very young at the time, she had a difficult home life and her job was her family almost, she wanted to know what she needed to do to be successful. I used the above statement and the next week she came to my office very proud of herself and had it written in tattoo ink on her arm. It gives me great pleasure to see her on LinkedIn doing so well with her job in HR.
So, what does success really mean to you?
The first step is to stop and quietly reflect. Strip back the noise of others and perhaps of forced opinions and views of you, and ASK yourself:
- What gives me a sense of purpose at work?
- Do I want progression, or am I craving security and consistency?
- Am I chasing status because I want it or because I think I should?
- At what cost am I willing to pursue this? My health? My time with family? My values?
Recently, I worked with a client who was hesitant to use the word success in the same breath as finance. They were worried it might come across as big-headed or even narcissistic. But here’s the thing, being financially driven doesn’t make you shallow or selfish. It makes you human. Money is a legitimate marker of success for many, whether it’s about creating security, providing for a family, or achieving a certain lifestyle. We need to let go of the shame or guilt around naming what truly matters to us.
Another client I worked with had a completely different struggle. She was measuring success by what she was sold on Instagram – the polished posts, the “dream” lifestyles, the constant narrative of hustle and high achievement from people she didn’t even know. On top of that, she was driven by a deep desire to make her parents proud, fuelled by expectations that were never hers to begin with. She eventually realised that she was chasing a version of success that wasn’t making her happy. The pressure to live up to impossible ideals both online and at home was leaving her exhausted, not empowered. The truth is that many parents want their children to fulfil the dreams they never had the opportunity in their day to pursue. But that’s not the answer either. When you’re living someone else’s version of success, you’re not being your true self.
Why a Career Coach can help
This is where a career coach becomes a powerful ally. They’re not there to tell you what you should do, they’re there to help you figure out what’s right for you.
Whether you’re stuck, lost, or at a crossroads, they’ll help you gain clarity, build confidence, and take control of your career journey. A good coach will challenge assumptions you didn’t even know you were making. They’ll ask questions you’ve never thought to ask yourself. And they’ll hold up a mirror to your values, your goals, and your potential.
Coaching is about accountability and it’s about choosing to own your career, rather than waiting to be chosen.
Success doesn’t just happen
Let’s bust a myth on its own, hard work alone doesn’t guarantee recognition. Being busy doesn’t equal being valuable. And hoping someone will notice your efforts and hand you your dream role? That’s wishful thinking. You must advocate for yourself. You must build your network, seek feedback, learn continuously, and speak up about your ambitions. You must be proactive, not passive.
Because nothing in life is free sadly and everything comes with trade-offs, and it is YOUR choice to make the decisions.
People often see titles or perhaps more money, that they ever dreamt of but… What are you willing to trade?
Climbing the ladder might mean longer hours and more responsibility might mean less downtime. A higher salary might mean sacrificing time with your kids. These aren’t right or wrong choices, but they are yours to make. The key is to be conscious of them. If you define success without factoring in your health and personal life, or impact on your relationships and children, you may arrive at the top of your career, but you will be exhausted, burnt out, and wondering if it was worth it.
Own It
So, take the reins. Define success on your terms not someone else. Ask yourself the hard questions. Work with someone who can help you map it out. And never forget your career is a journey, not a race. Make sure you’re headed somewhere that matters to you but not at the cost of your health and you family time as that you will never get back!